My church started an amazing series called "David-The Making of a Champion." This particular message was entitled "Stepping into The Fight." The fight being the fight of our life. Each of us having an individual and different fight than the next person. There have been multiple times that I have viewed this infertility and loss field I seem to be stuck in as the "Fight of My Life!" I seem to be battling quite a few opponents such as time itself, my body, the medical staff and their options for me, and MY desires and will for my life. Pastor suggested to make the fight of your life not about you, but rather focused on WHO you can bless around you in the process. How can God use you?
My battles seem insurmountable to others, I only know this because of how many comments I receive on a daily basis. Here is my response, there are things going on in other's lives that seem insurmountable to me! I can deal with what God has given me, because I am sold on living out my life to better those around me in spite of what I have gone through and will go through. I CAN NOT focus and dwell on my sorrows, I HAVE to focus on walking along side others in pain. God does not call me to fix other women's problems with infertility and loss, but rather to mourn with them. I truly believe He has called me to be their comforter! God uses your past to prepare you for what He has planned!
It is easy to focus and dwell on how huge some of the decisions are that Ferrari and I need to make in the near future. However, what will that help me gain? Nothing! We need to focus on the fact that the battle is the Lord's and He is here walking us through it! I know there is a sweet ending on the other side, and I can't wait to look back at how God brought me to where I am! The decisions seem too heavy and hard get through, but the truth is we WILL overcome!
It makes me think back to when I was 15 and studying for my driver's test. I was scared out of my mind, and stressed beyond belief for the test. (My parents were begging me to go take the test, because I kept make up excuses to get out of it. What 16 yr old isn't knocking on the DMV's door to take the test?) I prepared and studied for days, practiced and thought I was ready for the test of my life. Only to find out that I would fail my first try, and have to go home and practice more and try again the following day. That next day I passed with flying colors and couldn't believe the weight that was lifted off my shoulders. The task that seemed so difficult and unattainable was accomplished. It was such a sweet feeling to look back at all the hard work, stress, and struggles and realize that mountain wasn't as big as I had originally thought. I got through it, and now it is comical how stressed out I was for that test. I can't believe I was convinced that test was seriously going to be the hardest thing I would ever have to do in life.
The point is when you are in the thick of the battle, it is hard to understand why God would have you there. The good news is, God trusts you with the specific battles He has marked out for your life, and He is not cursing you but blessing you. He is forming you for your future. It might be for things you will endure later in life, or maybe to bless those around you as they encounter similar things. If your future seems to look a lot like Goliath, try adopting faith like that of David. David knew this was the battle God called him to, regardless of what others around him said. He knew his past had prepared him for what God had in store, and that he could trust God to deliver him through to the end.
Have faith and trust God, He does know what He is doing!