Monday, December 12, 2011

One Day...

I follow a fellow Baby Loss Momma over at Small Bird Studios. She is so inspiring and is always doing special things in honor of her little one in heaven, Jenna.  She prompted me this morning to sit down and write about something that I doubt I would have otherwise thought of myself.

If heaven could give back Arie and Hadilyn for just one day, what would that day look like?

When I read the prompt, I instantly got butterflies in my stomach.  What a sweet sweet day that would be!  I could just sob right now thinking of myself getting to hold my babies in my arms again!  I know I would just sit and stare at them for hours, memorizing every line and crease in their little hands and feet.  I would love to bathe them and dress them in matching clothes, and wrap them up in blankets that were sewn especially for them.  Good luck trying to hold them, because I know I would be selfish, and not want to let them go.  I would delight myself in the task of trying to carry around two infant car seats.  I would talk baby talk to them and make funny faces, trying my hardest to see which ones would crack a smile first! I would lay on the floor with them and read them stories.  I would feed them and giggle at what a giant mess two babies can make while eating.  I would sing them to sleep and watch over them until they woke.  I would take pictures, oh so so so many pictures!  I would probably just hire a photographer to catch every minute of it all!  I would want to do all the little things that mommies get to do, even including diaper changes.

This prompt has really made my desire to be a mom, burn more than it ever has.  When I truly sit back and picture what it would be like, even if only for a day, to provide and care and love on my children, I KNOW for a fact I am destined for this job!  I long for the day that I get to be the one that takes care of my baby and fulfills their earthly needs.  I know since the Lord has not removed the desire in my heart to be a mother, I need to wait patiently for His timing because one day my time WILL come.

Take DELIGHT in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; TRUST in Him and He will do this:  He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait PATIENTLY for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.  Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil.  For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who HOPE in the Lord will inherit the land. Psalm 37: 4-9

For those of you who have children, I urge you to consider if today was the last day on earth with your babies how would you spend the day?  Would you hold them tighter?  Have more patience with them when they act out?  The Lord has blessed you with them, and has entrusted you to take the best care of them while they are here on this earth.  Nothing breaks my heart more, than seeing a mom take for granted her opportunity of being a mother!  Children are miracles, no woman is guaranteed to have their own.  

For those woman who are still waiting for their chance to be a mom, consider that God has not removed that desire in your heart for a reason.  We may not know why He is having you wait so long for your turn, but try and remember that His plan and timing is perfect!  He may have bigger things waiting for you than you could have ever asked for or dreamed of!