We have been so blessed lately to receive exactly what we need to hear each week at church. We recently finished a fantastic series on FAITH. I got a big slap in the face each week, in a good way :)
The theme that continues to consume my thoughts is that God Has Us Right Where We Need To Be!
As painful as this "place" is, God wants us here. Well, initially, this frustrated me beyond belief. Why would my loving God want me to lose baby after baby after our path to get pregnant is so difficult and long?!? I still don't know the entire answer to that question, but I have learned HE wants me here no matter if I "get it" or not.
These thoughts have crossed my mind... maybe He wants me to learn to have more patience, maybe He wants me to draw even closer to Him, maybe He wants my faith stronger, I don't know. However, I do know He has me here because this is the perfect place for me right now! OUCH, still don't know how I feel about this. I would really prefer to be on an easier path. I want nothing more than to have my children, spend every waking moment with them, loving them, and teaching them about everything in this crazy world. I have this HUGE desire to teach them about God and how to love others like He did. Instead, I get to sit and watch friends and family raise their children, which just intensifies my feelings ten fold.
What do you suppose He wants me to do during this waiting period. Ignore anyone that's pregnant or has children? No, even though that road would probably be much easier. He wants us to continue to live out our lives with FAITH that can't be broken. He has us right where we are to show others PERSEVERANCE, unwavering FAITH, unending HOPE. I have to stop focusing on this joyous place down the road, and instead plant my feet firmly on the path where He has me. I can worship Him right where I'm at. I'm not saying this is always easy, I am just saying I know its what we should be doing. I have to conscientiously wake up in the morning and remind myself to think this way. One day, I'm hoping it will become habit. Until then, I will continue to strive to be "Joyful" right where I'm at. This road may be darker or longer than the road I would prefer, but He still has me ON a path. He trusts me enough to be right where I am, and I need to honor Him by continuing to help others along the way. Together, we can travel this road together. It is much easier to have others beside me than to be alone and focused on those ahead of me that have living children.
"Never say in your heart what you will or will not do, but wait until God reveals His way to you. As long as that way is hidden, it is clear that there is no need of action and that He holds Himself accountable for all the results of keeping you exactly where you are selected.
For God through ways we have not known, Will lead His Own."
-Streams in the Desert
(One of my Absolute FAVORITE Devotionals)