Monday, October 24, 2011

A Tale of Unwavering Faith

     Wow, it's been too long since I have posted.  Life got a little crazy lately, especially with our 2nd Box Party for Owl Love You Forever.  There was so much to prepare and organize, that everything else ended up on the back burner.  Then we took a family vacation to Disneyland with 15 members of Ferrari's family!  It was crazy and so much fun, but I returned home needing a vacation from my vacation :)  Running around theme parks with our nieces and nephews was so much fun, but definitely far from relaxing!
     We have been so blessed lately to receive exactly what we need to hear each week at church.  We recently finished a fantastic series on FAITH.  I got a big slap in the face each week, in a good way :)
The theme that continues to consume my thoughts is that God Has Us Right Where We Need To Be!
As painful as this "place" is, God wants us here.  Well, initially, this frustrated me beyond belief.  Why would my loving God want me to lose baby after baby after our path to get pregnant is so difficult and long?!? I still don't know the entire answer to that question, but I have learned HE wants me here no matter if I "get it" or not.
     These thoughts have crossed my mind... maybe He wants me to learn to have more patience, maybe He wants me to draw even closer to Him, maybe He wants my faith stronger, I don't know.  However, I do know He has me here because this is the perfect place for me right now! OUCH, still don't know how I feel about this.  I would really prefer to be on an easier path.  I want nothing more than to have my children, spend every waking moment with them, loving them, and teaching them about everything in this crazy world.  I have this HUGE desire to teach them about God and how to love others like He did.  Instead, I get to sit and watch friends and family raise their children, which just intensifies my feelings ten fold.
     What do you suppose He wants me to do during this waiting period.  Ignore anyone that's pregnant or has children? No, even though that road would probably be much easier.  He wants us to continue to live out our lives with FAITH that can't be broken.  He has us right where we are to show others PERSEVERANCE, unwavering FAITH, unending HOPE.  I have to stop focusing on this joyous place down the road, and instead plant my feet firmly on the path where He has me.  I can worship Him right where I'm at.  I'm not saying this is always easy, I am just saying I know its what we should be doing.  I have to conscientiously wake up in the morning and remind myself to think this way.  One day, I'm hoping it will become habit.  Until then, I will continue to strive to be "Joyful" right where I'm at.  This road may be darker or longer than the road I would prefer, but He still has me ON a path.  He trusts me enough to be right where I am, and I need to honor Him by continuing to help others along the way.  Together, we can travel this road together.  It is much easier to have others beside me than to be alone and focused on those ahead of me that have living children.

"Never say in your heart what you will or will not do, but wait until God reveals His way to you.  As long as that way is hidden, it is clear that there is no need of action and that He holds Himself accountable for all the results of keeping you exactly where you are selected. 
For God through ways we have not known, Will lead His Own."
-Streams in the Desert 
(One of my Absolute FAVORITE Devotionals) 


  1. Love this post, Shayla. You feel just how I do :)

  2. I know how powerful is Pastor Greg's leading in this regard given the place the Lord has placed him. I would love to listen in to those teachings on faith.

    Some time ago, during a particularly difficult stretch of life, it occurred to me that "Faith isn't faith until you actually need it."

    I've no doubt you are a blessing & comfort to many. You are exercising not only faith, but hope. No doubt they are both laced with love.


  3. This is a beautiful post. I often get frustrated with where we are, convinced that we should have a bigger family by now. But God keeps showing me how to have joy and peace at this stage, knowing I am right where I need to be. I don't always understand it, but I trust.

  4. The Faith series has been truly uplifting for us as well. I agree God has you right where He wants you to be. I am praying for you. Thank you for being a blessing!