Tuesday, August 21, 2012

It's No Secret... Part One

    It's no secret that I have been struggling with blogging on here since we have brought home Audie Lynn.  Yes, there isn't a whole lot of extra time in my day to devote to blogging, but more than that I am struggling with the subject matter.  I am still getting used to being "on the other side" of grief.  I am still getting used to the fact that so many of my friends are still trying to bring home their baby, or overcome their infertility.  I am still getting used to a lot of things.
     I NEVER under any circumstances want to offend any of my readers, so I am letting you all know that there will be a whole lot less of me blogging about "Life with Audie" on here, and more about what I used to write about.  I have not been cured of my PCOS or my incompetent cervix, so there will be a time that I am very much so in the thick of struggling to get pregnant again.  Those desires to be pregnant as well as the HUGE fears of pregnancy are still very much alive inside of me.  I may end up on the roller coaster ride of adoption again at some point too!  Who knows where God will lead our family.
     I always felt like a mom before we brought home Audie, I was just considered a mom to angels.  The only thing that has changed in the last couple months is that I am Mommy to a living child as well.  Therefore, society can't argue with my Mommy title anymore.  I am still me, the same girl God raised from the burning ashes of loss and despair.  I will stay true to the purpose of this blog, and that is my promise to all of you!
     SO... With all of that being said, I wanted to share a bit more of our adoption story with you.  I know it appeared that we just signed up to adopt, and got a baby within a matter of weeks.  However, the truth is we started down the adoption path in April of 2011.  We knew we wanted to work with Christian Family Care, and I logged on to their website and requested some more information.  I was so excited when the packet came I ripped it open and forced Ferrari to listen to me read every paper inside.  He was less than thrilled.  We have this thing where I have to read everything out loud to him, because if he tries to read it to me my mind checks out within seconds due to my self diagnosed ADD.  Anyway, I had this huge ball of excitement in the pit of my stomach, and started filling out the paperwork THAT night!  We signed up for the next session of classes the agency offered.  Once the classes were over, we felt so much more informed about the entire adoption process.  Literally they answered all of our questions and then some we didn't know we had.  I hadn't been so excited about anything in SO LONG!