Monday, October 3, 2011

The View From My Front Porch

I have been super excited for summer to end and fall to begin.  I love when the weather is cooler and I can sit in my rocking chair on my front porch and drink my coffee.  Wow, I realize this may make me sound like I am much older than I am, haha, but I don't care.  I can't get enough of the peace I receive when I sit on my front porch and just spend time talking with God.  I don't really know why, but I am one of those people that has a really hard time connecting with God while I'm indoors.  However, get me outside in His beautiful creation and all I want to do is have a conversation with Him.  The most important thing I was looking for when Ferrari and I were house hunting was a cute wrap around front porch and its view.  Luckily, the view from my front porch stares directly at the beautiful Estrella mountains!

One day I envision being at the top of those mountains.  (Maybe not physically, because that would be a really hard hike, but definitely figuratively)  When Ferrari and I got married we felt like we were on top of it all.  Life was great, what could go wrong?  We had each other, our brand new house, and we were ready to start a family.  (INSERT GOD LAUGHING HERE)  Our plan and God's plan, are two completely different things.  I have learned to take that well thought out plan and throw it out the window!  Because, I hate to break it to you, but it is not going to go that way.

I have spent numerous days out on my front porch contemplating the events in my life.  I will be honest and say that I have spent more time contemplating the hard experiences, as opposed to the easy ones.  I have spent a lot of time in prayer on my front porch, and many hours crying and mourning each loss we have endured.  However, I still stare out at those Estrella mountains and remind myself that there is a top.  There will be a day that we will make it through all of the pain and we will find ourselves overcome with JOY.

I have yet to hear from God as to when that day will be, but I am encouraged to know that every day that passes is one day closer to the top!  There are times that I swear I have tripped and fallen all the way back down to the bottom of that mountain, but every time God picks me up and carries me further than I have made it before.  Don't be discouraged if you haven't completely overcome your trials, try and spend this time growing closer to God.  You will be better for it and stronger for having made it through it.

I can't explain how giddy I get when I think about the day when God blesses us with a child to raise.  The thought of how much joy I will feel is one of the biggest things keeping me going!  I want that JOY!  I want to be so overcome by it, knowing the only reason I have it, is because God has blessed me with it.  That JOY will be so sweet, and I am definitely willing to put in my time as I wait to receive it!


  1. I am so proud to call you my daughter and my friend. I love you!! MOM

  2. Every day God does pick us up and carry us further. Through all these trials, He shapes us to be more of who He has called us to be. I love the song at church Stronger. I play it when I am going through a really tough time. I remind myself that I am stronger only because of Christ who gives me strength. Thank you for your insight. Praying for you!