Wednesday, June 1, 2011

In their Honor

I think I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the twin's birthday for a while now. I wasn't quite sure how I would feel or what I would want to do that day. People kept asking us what the plan was, and we honestly couldn't answer them because we weren't sure. I absolutely hate when people flake out on me and change their plans, so I was not about to make a bunch of plans and then have to cancel them because we just didn't feel like doing them. I tried to play it safe and just see what the day brought. I am so glad we did it this way, because I don't think we were prepared for the emotions we had that morning.

Ferrari and I have coffee every morning, it is sort of our time to connect with each other, with God, and prepare ourselves for the day ahead. We were both on edge and didn't have too much patience that morning (understandably.) What was even more frustrating then not having patience with each other was the fact that we KNEW we didn't have patience; and we knew why, but we couldn't really change it. That is just how we felt! We had to stop and pray and really ask God for the strength to get through the day. I kept telling Ferrari we can get through this, remember a year ago- everything God carried us through back then! (I was half way telling him this to support him, but also because I needed to hear it myself)

We headed down to the cemetery to see their memorial stone. This was the first time we got to see their marker in the ground, and it was beautiful!

After we visited the twins we headed home to load up the Owl Love You Forever boxes, all 196 of them! Most of them fit in my Tahoe, but the rest we stacked in my in-law's jeep!

The donations would be made at Banner Good Samaritan in Phoenix, because that is where the twins were born. I spoke with one of the nurses that delivered Arie and Hadilyn, she informed me that on average Good Samaritan Hospital would have to walk 500 families through the tragedy of losing their infant.

When we first arrived and the staff saw just how many boxes we had to donate, they weren't quite sure where we would put them all. We did some rearranging and found a way to store all the boxes by gender in 3 different closets.

We pretty much stacked boxes from the floor to the ceiling in these narrow closets.

The hospital staff was quite curious to see what was in all these white boxes, once we told them they were for the bereavement program everyone was so appreciative. I am pretty sure because of the recession, the hospital had to eliminate all of the nurses assistants. By doing so, this means the nurses themselves must be equipped when a situation arises in which a family will lose their infant. I purposely designed these boxes to include everything you would need to help a family have a memorable experience with their baby for the few short hours they may be given.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have these boxes in every hospital? Think of the families that end up delivering in say an emergency room. The medical staff in an emergency room is not equipped nor trained to deal with this kind of situation. In result, families that lose their baby in this atmosphere lose out on the kind of experience I had. They don't always get to bathe and dress their baby, and have time for family photos. With each hospital storing a few of these boxes, they would be able to create such a better experience for these deserving families!
Remember, you can donate a complete box online at


  1. Such a beautiful post, brought me to tears... you are so beautiful Shayla.

  2. You are giving such a beautiful gift to these families. I'm so amazed by the way you have found the ability to give to others even as you grieve for Arie and Hadilyn. What a blessing you are to so many!

  3. We have recently created a similar program in memory of our son. Congratulations on your non-profit status! I will pray for you and your organization.

  4. Just 24 days ago I lost my son. I carried him for 21 weeks and though I chose not to deliver him but the be put under because I could not bare to see my son suffer. Once I was discharged from the hospital I felt empty. I have cried every single day for my baby boy with nothing to hold I received my package. This has brought me some comfort and I want to thank you personaly.

    Lorenzo's Mommy.

    1. Lorenzo's Mommy,
      I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your loss :( Please let me know if there is anything else that I can do to help! I am always here to listen or talk. I am glad that the package has brought you some comfort!