Friday, December 31, 2010

A Tale of the New Year

As 2010 comes to an end, I can only think about the year ahead. Resolutions that get made and the feelings of failure when they don't get kept. Traditionally, you hear of people always making resolutions to lose weight, start working out, start eating healthier, get out of debt, etc. Ask anyone battling infertility and their resolutions are probably much different than the norm.
My new years resolutions are always pretty much the same. I remember for 2009 it was to get pregnant. For 2010 it was to get pregnant and stay pregnant. Needless to say, for 2011, I'm a little reluctant to make any sort of resolution, because I seem to always fail. I know, I don't technically have much control over the resolutions I make; but when you are battling infertility that is basically all you think about. I don't think about eating healthier, or getting in shape; my thoughts are consumed on holding my healthy child in my arms! Therefore, my resolutions are consumed with having a baby!
Every December I remember saying, next year is our year. I love starting out in January with a positive outlook that maybe this coming year will be it! I feel like I have a whole 12 months ahead of me to make something happen. I have the emotionally hard holidays behind me, and an open road ahead! I know God doesn't want me to give up on my dreams and desires.
In fact in Psalm 37:4 He promises us,
"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

As long as I can stay positive and focus on scripture, I know 2011 will be a great year. I have to admit, the past few years have not been great in the baby making area. However, God has tremendously blessed me in other ways. I have an amazing husband that supports me and stands by my side through all of this. I know Ferrari will never waiver, he is always there to offer encouraging words or remind me of how God has us in the palm of His hand orchestrating our lives perfectly! I have a huge supportive family that stands behind Ferrari and I in every decision we have to make. They are there to offer us words of encouragement, and a shoulder to cry on. We couldn't ask for a better group of friends. Ours are always ready and willing to cheer us up and give us some laughs. We don't have any health problems, minus Ferrari's 12 month battle with valley fever. Come to think of it, hopefully this goes away soon! Ferrari has a great job and we have a beautiful home to provide us with a roof over our heads.
I know I have no room to complain, God has given me so much! If I am having a day where I start to feel bad for myself, I quickly remind myself of how many people have it worse. This quickly snaps me back to reality!
Instead of making new years resolutions, here are my hopes and dreams for the coming year:
1. Read my Bible every day!
2. Have a happy, healthy baby!
3. Spend less time watching TV!
4. Start my non profit!
5. Begin the process of writing a book.

Feel free to leave me a comment, and let me know about your hopes and dreams for 2011!


  1. Well my new year's hope was to have you at our house beating the boys at Last Word but I guess God just didn't want to grant that haha. We can't wait to walk with you guys through this next year and continue to encourage each other. Thank you both for your constant encouragement to us and others and the great friendship we have with you both!

  2. I hesitate to even mention this, because I'm sure you have wonderful doctors who are taking the best possible care of you, but even if this doesn't apply to your situation, perhaps it will help someone else. My first three pregnancies (almost 30 years ago) all ended in miscarriage, all right around 12 weeks, and the doctors kept telling me "it's just bad luck, keep trying". But then I heard through the grapevine of someone with a similar problem who went to a specialist at Texas Women and Children in Houston, so I decided to pay him a visit. He performed the exact same test all the other doctors had performed (where they send dyes up through the uterus and look at it on a monitor) but as soon as he saw the image, he said "Well there's your problem right there! We'll have you fixed up in no time!" Apparently I had something called a septate uterus, where there was an almost invisible membrane dividing it into two compartments, and causing my fetuses to run out of room. Less than a year after he removed it, my first child was born!