I was replaying these events in my head yesterday as a friend of mine went through a similar bleeding scare. I couldn't help but think about how I felt that Saturday morning and how they must have been feeling on their drive to the hospital. Seeing everyone around them go about their day as if nothing traumatic was going on in their life. My trans-like state, I experienced, on the drive to the hospital will never leave my mind. It's a feeling that is not easy to shake. When I think about it, it is still so real to me. I will remember seeing that blood and wondering, could this bleeding really be nothing or is it the end of everything!
Those emotions and thoughts are things I never wish to have to go through again, however they have made me stronger, more faithful, and way more compassionate. I am thankful for going through those circumstances, because God shaped me into a much better daughter, sister, and friend. Even if I can't relate exactly to what you are going through, struggles are struggles. Heartache comes in lots of shapes and sizes, but what everyone needs during their struggles is compassion. In fact, Christ commanded us to give compassion.
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
I remember searching for comfort through prayer, and God answered! He surrounded us with compassionate family and friends. He also blessed us with amazing nurses and doctors, that were filled with compassion. So many people in the medical field lack the bed side manor needed in situations like what we went through. God blessed us with a Christian nurse that went out of her way to make our experience the best that it could be, considering our inevitable outcome.
I used to never enter hospitals, in total honesty they freaked me out! However, after losing little Arie and Hadilyn I have a new found compassion and strength. God has given me the desire to comfort those who have lost a child. I have stepped foot in a hospital more times since May 24, then I have in my whole life. I literally have a burning desire to give comfort and hope. It is most definitely the ministry God has placed on my heart, and I am loving growing in this field. I take each day at a time, and some are easy and others are extremely difficult. However, I know this is exactly where I need to be. My bleeding definitely wasn't nothing, but it most definitely was not the end of everything either. It was just the end to another chapter.